these emotions, where are they coming from? what is going on? is it just a minor breakdown that every girl has once in a while? but it cant be ? there must be a reason to it. is it because i care way to much and im attached that i dont want to lose it. and so i just want the same little things back. help?
its the little things that matter to me most. i don’t care for big presents and the money you spend on me. the most important thing that gets to me is those little phone calls even though if it was just to tell me your home safe. just a goodnight/goodmorning. holding my hand everywhere we go, saying the words i love you. telling me im beautiful even on those days where i look like shiet. kaka its true, us girls don’t need those diamonds and gold all we need is your closure and care. (:
i really can’t wait anymore…. to when i have everything i’ve wanted & worked for. to have a house of my own. and a life of my own. my OWN freedom basically. i want to get out of this stage, leave this body where education is all that is needed. and onto the successful life that i’ve dreamt of all my life.
but till that day, i shall wait…. wait… & keep on waiting like i have been.
people need to learn how to fucking read SIGNS !!! when the open sign is OFF !!!….. uhhh…. it means that its NOT OPEN !! duh duh doh !!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID !!!!!!
anywhos.. so work was fucking ridonkalous !!!!!!!!! now playing kings cup at chucks heezzzouse !!! when im suppose to be a good girl and be home, but there are times where i HAVE to break rules and pretty much thats EVERY single day. kaka.
soooooo i wish i was either on a cruise, plane, road trip just somewhere out of FUCKING SD !!!! and get away from EVERYONE !!!!
so lets see thursday night/ friday morning 12am. took baby to coronado to this little stage in the park with his favorite dessert a PAZZOKIE !! peanut butter of course yumm =) kaka. sang happy birthday. friday morning drove him to the birch aquarium then ate lunch at The Cottage in la jolla. it was pretty good-ish. dinner at PHILS BBQ. duh !!! where at but the best bbq place in SD =p yummy. had a little kick back. fun fun. oh party continues it doesn’t stop yet. surprised baby with a bbq at the santee lake. the partay partay!!! =) sunday morning. happy fathers day, his parents took us out to eat for his b-dat at the fish market. one of my favs so good !! took a walk around seaport villge. it was fun. bonding with the parents a lil bit. (: good weekend.
is he down to explore? is he excited to travel the world with me? is he willing to go backpacking all the way to new york? is willing to experience exotic places and food? will he have the nerves to go skydiving, rock climbing, water rafting bungee jump with me? can we go on a hot air-balloon or…
exactly the PERFECT guy is what you just described. kaka there will be a guy like that out there. (:
Lay out underneath the starry sky with me. Lets let out all our inhibitions run free. Look up at the milkyway and make believe. We can really see Everything that’s in the sky. Stars, and birds, and planes that fly. And all the broken dreams. Hold on to me. Hold me close and hold me near. Breathe assurance in my ear. When you hold me I believe. That maybe love is all I need. Hold on to me…. promise me that you will never let go. Every passing night becomes a passing day. Life just keeps slipping away and time is like a sinner that will never change. It cannot be saved. The only thing i know for sure is YOU ARE MINE AND I AM YOURS. so come on over here. Hold on to me. Bring my head upon your chest. Here my soul can truly rest.
<3 know what's in my heart. know that you have it all. its in your hands for care. & that i trust you with my all. <3